8 Things to Do if Youre Sober During Your Divorce

divorce after sobriety

Though marriage can be a protective factor against substance use, substance use and addiction can be a severe risk factor for marriage troubles and ultimately lead to divorce. Research has found that excessive alcohol or drug use is the third most common reason why for divorce. If you decide to pursue a divorce, it’s good to know what options you have, what rights you’re entitled to and what support is available as you move forward. If you have children and you fear for their safety, make sure the attorney is aware of your concerns so you can develop a custody plan to keep them safe. Drinking alcoholically means a backlog of real-life, adult problems build up.

divorce after sobriety

He’s Sober. Now What? A Spouse’s Guide to Alcoholism Recovery

I don’t get much out of the unicorns and bubblegum inspiration about how everyday is perfect in sobriety. And I imagine those posts are insulting to the spouse of an alcoholic in recovery who is dealing with the reality of resentment and distrust. A picture of a sunrise with a snappy caption is an indignity to the couples trying to hold their families together in sobriety. Divorce is life changing, traumatic, and hurtful to everyone involved. It’s regrettable to go through it at any time, let alone during recovery.

John Mulaney Did 2nd Rehab Stint After Anna Marie Tendler Split

However, it’s important to note that drinking alone does not automatically make a parent unfit. The context of alcohol use and its impact on parenting abilities and child welfare are critical factors. Whether you are a Dependent or a Spouse, dealing with substance abuse in a divorce is complicated, particularly when the couple share children. This becomes increasingly complicated, however, when one parent has a history of substance abuse dependency that raises issues of safety for the children. A divorce can be deeply painful, leading many individuals to numb their feelings with the use of drugs or alcohol. Without the proper support system, these substances can take center stage within a person’s life and quickly accelerate to addiction.

divorce after sobriety

Interview with Chantal Jauvin, author “Love Without Martinis.”

Getting sober after years or decades of alcoholism was like promising not to pour gasoline on the charred remains of our house after I burned it to the ground. After I crushed my spouse’s soul, I asked for loving support in exchange for promising to not crush it again. Like Mulaney, Tendler has shared little about the events that led to the former couple’s divorce. She released her memoir, Men Have Called Her Crazy, earlier this year about her own journey with in-patient treatment for suicidal ideation and disordered eating. The work required for me to recover from alcoholism was monumental, but it paled in comparison to the work we’ve done to recover our marriage. The odds are against us, and the journey is treacherous.

  • Likewise, it can be emotionally tolling trying to leave someone you care about who’s struggling with alcoholism.
  • This documentation creates a trustworthy narrative of a parent’s behavior over time, which can be instrumental in legal proceedings.
  • Those three days informed my understanding of what was happening to Bill and us as a family unit.
  • This time, Sheri found the grace to forgive me.

Recovery cracks you open.

divorce after sobriety

I heard the pain of years old transgressions oozing from my wife as though the wounds were wide open. My wife, on divorce rates after sobriety the other hand, was incapable of forgiveness because my apologies were so meaningless. They festered and metastasized and wreaked havoc on our marriage.

divorce after sobriety

Drug Use And Marriage

  • Alcohol is a serious and traumatic problem for couples and families.
  • I was lonely, but I also wanted to be left alone to drink however I wanted to drink.
  • This is especially if the alcoholic spouse is prone to violence when drinking or experiences blackouts.
  • But allegations about an alcoholic’s behavior alone carry little weight in the Family Court’s custody rulings without credible supporting evidence.

Her path to sobriety could have been very different if her husband had initiated it and she’d been opposed to it. We know that picking up the phone can be scary. Reaching out for help takes courage – you can do it. We know what it’s like to have a new chance at life. If you have questions about your drug use or that of a loved one, please contact one of our treatment advisors at Laguna Shores Recovery today. Another incredibly important part of pulling yourself out of that divide between loss and anger is to have a strong support system.

Inevitability of an Alcoholic Divorce

divorce after sobriety

There was a certain meeting in my area that was recommended and to this day, I go to still. All I knew was that I needed to get to a solid foundation and I could not do that in my marriage. Unlike other methods of alcohol testing, Soberlink uses facial recognition and artificial intelligence technology for Advanced Reporting. The fact that an accident did not occur is often a matter of pure chance.

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